When I feel very depressed, or maybe a better way of saying: when I am very depressed, I can handle very little stress. I am irritable. Very small things can make me snap completely, and this is very hard to handle for the people around me.
Read the rest of Depression and aggression.
I was searching the web with the unpromising word combination "what does it mean when depression is worse during the day" and found this page! I can't believe that you've had the same exact experience!! I ALWAYS feel 1,000,000 times better at night. Does anyone know what this means??
Anise, I just did a Google search for depression worse morning, and as you can see it's quite "normal" to feel better when the day goes on.
It might also be the reason why I often go to bed late, I get more productive at the end of the day. Major disadvantage of this, of course, is that I can't fall asleep easily (I am still very active in my head).
Thanks for writing this. If I had enough ink and paper I would print it and show it to my husband. I have the same exact experiences everyday and every night.
Also, now, no matter what a fight is about, my depression is always blamed. Even if he lies or says something insensative about me or my body it doesn't matter. I end up feeling guilty for not being able to let it go.
I have been searching the web for information regarding depression feeling worse in the morning and better at night. I cannot cope with the mornings at all now!!! By the time bedtime comes around i am feeling like a normal person again and want to stay up all night!!!
Thank you for this site! It helps to find out there is other people who suffer the same thing!
LOVE ANNE X
I get more depressed & anxious during the day too & my theory on this is that at night, especially late at night, the rest of the world is shut down/asleep except maybe for bars & nightclubs so you don't feel pressured to go out & achieve something, go out into the world & achieve anything like "normal" people are doing. The rest of people out in the world all seem so much more functional & happier than those of us w/depression/anxiety disorders & that in itself is depressing & causes insecurity/anxiety. It's like during the day there's too many choices one can make which becomes overwhelming. I read an article in "New York" magazine about 'happiness' & it mentioned that people in general feel overwhelmed by having too many choices for everything nowadays & are afraid they are making the wrong choice, for example, there's like 50 different types of toothpaste to choose from nowadays vs. maybe 10 in the '70s-'80s. At night there's not much that can be achieved, you can't "go out & get 'em" so to speak which is a relief. Another interesting point the article made is that low income/poverty in & of itself is not depressing but the perceived disparity between low & high income groups IS depressing, i.e being poor & surrounded by rich people. Anyway, yeah there should be better meds for anxiety besides the benzos & SSRIs. You'd think they'd have come up with something new by now...
having been wandering around with this big black cloud following me for the past few years, with just spells of sunshine that just get ripped away for no reason. i find this. my oasis how good it feels for now to know that there is others who not only understand you but are suffering the exact same thing. I'm currently of work but have a colleague phone me every day asking how are you to day? well at the mo i fine i reply, he comes back with so you will be back at work this week then? i just wish it was that easy. thanks for your insight
I was very interested in your writing about how you felt with your depression. My husband has it also and it is very hard to deal with sometimes. I know how hard it is for the person with depression to get along, but no one thinks about the people who love the person who is depressed. It is equally difficult on those people also, our lives are not normal either. When Dad's down so is the rest of the family. When it gets really bad and he is sleeping for a day or two, our life comes to a halt. I don't want to leave him alone. I really wish someone could tell those of us who love a depressed person what we should do. Because we also feel helpless,we are the ones who bare the brunt of the short temperedness, the leave me alones. I wonder how many families have split up because they feel so far apart?
I am in desperate need of advice, my boyfriend is suffering from depression , he is in the process of being diagnosed (involved w.a psychiatrist ) but no diagnosis yet ...this has been going on 2 months now and I believe triggered by my horrible actions ... I used physical abuse ... keeping in mind he is struggling w/forgiveness and trust I just don't know what to do he does not tell me anything .. at times he is cruel and will say horrible things to me, about me , about himself .... he lashes out and all I am trying to do is love and support him but he pushes me away .... I read on depression and know this is what I am supposed to expect .... but it is still so hard to deal with the constant rejection .... none of his behavior is normal (for him ) he is showing almost all signs of depression ... I am trying to trust the professionals but can't help but feel there is something I can do .... we recently had a fight ... I let him suck me right into it ... and now he is distancing himself again ... it is like this vicsious cycle ... where I start to feel he is letting me in .... then something happens .. something little and he loses it ... and it's like 2 steps back ... I want to get out of this cycle but don't know how ... I don't even know what I can talk to him about as he is so sensitive and the littlest things will set him off.... before depression he always had problem expressing himself ... now it is so much worse .... he is completely inside himself ....it's very lonely at times .........
I am a wife of a man who has had depression for 23 years. He had an accident and could never work at a paying job. We have been married for 34 year. His depression has been getting worse. He is on meds and has sessions monthly. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing (suggestions for doing something. we never argue).incase he has an episode of breaking things, what ever is available, windows, etc. then he disapears for hours. (guns and ammo are in safe, I am the only one with the combination}
He is always blaming me for his episodes. An easy way out I suppose. His doctor has said I must love him very much to stay with him this long. He is a wonderful man, I am so depressed myself to the point of wanting to die. I would not kill myself, but I was hoping to die during my surgery a month ago. I take care of all the bills, etc. and even wrote out everything for him hoping I would die. He doesn't know how much money we have and doesn't care. He has no responsablities. We have no friends. Ido have one friend but can't talk to her about it. I was hoping he was getting better last summer. He had migraines 24 hours day since his stroke in 01, He recovered from the stroke with no disabilies. Afer years of taking every med there was, last year a doctor prescribed a $400 prescription,our price, med for his migraines takes when needed. Migraines are few. Now he has knee problems. I know he is worried about not beening able to do things. I am at a loss of what to do. I am a caretaker and I am so tired. I wish I never met him and fell in love. I will never stop loving him and I will never leave him, he is the only one for me. I am so unhappy. We are remodeling, not by choice.
It is almost finished, and it is suppose to rain for the whole week. We can't go anywhere because our home is not secure, anyone could come in.
What can I do.
I am a 42 y/o woman, married now 6 years to a 52 y/o man who during the short course of our marrieage has become a severe cardiac/diabetic and is completely impotent. All of these things i have been living with, recognizing and making his appt. for having been a nurse most of my life. But now he is really bad off awaiting a pacemaker/defibrillator and is always tired and it seems rather depressed to me. What I am getting at is that his illness and depression have now made me very depressed and quite angry at the whole world. I feel like my life has been snatched away from me and I am nothing more now than an Old Nursemaide to a Sick Old Man. I am so ashamed of this yet cannot help my feelings. I Love him with all my heart and soul but feel like we are just sitting around waiting for him to die. He wants to do nothing for joy anymore. Not even just go to town with me or anything. Am I a horrible person or what???
I am a 32 y/o wife and mother of 2 beautiful children born 6 yrs apart. I suffer from depression and sometimes find it so incredibly difficult to handle even the simple things in life. I have severe outbursts of anger/aggression where I'll scream at the top of my lungs ... and I don't even need much provocation ... the kids just need to start arguing and I'll burst out in rage, scaring them half to death. The fear on these poor children's faces ... it tears me apart, because I feel like I can't control this anger and now it is harming my sweetheart children. It feels like my temper is getting worse and worse as the years go by. I'm so afraid sometimes that I'll harm my children, that instead I just scream at them, or storm off to my room and slam the door shut, trying to cut them out of my dark world. This is so unfair towards them, and also my husband who feels like I am cutting him off. He is constantly asking me whether I'm still happy being married to me (not when you nag me!!!), or whether there is something that he can do to make me feel better (NO! Just leave me alone!!!) I grew up an only child, so I don't know whether it is because of that, or because of the depression, but I just want some space, I want to be alone, I want silence, I want solitude so I can do what I want to do, and not robotically doing what is expected of me. I want to be able to stay in bed all day when I feel like it. I want to go out into nature and just stare off into the distance when I feel like it. I want to go without food and not be forced to cook for the family. I want so much, but I can have none of those. And so my world continues to spin around outside of my control - which is probably a good thing, because I wouldn't be able to control it very well. And in this darkness that sometimes surrounds me, I am grateful that I am in the arms of God Who loves me and carries me when I am this weak. And in these times I yearn for Him because I know that He alone can bring me through this. Perhaps this "thorn in my side" was given to me to keep me on my knees, to prevent me from becoming proud and arrogant (which I very easily could be), to keep me humble, to keep me tender so that I will not be judgmental and accusatory towards others (which I very easily could be), to keep me grateful because I know that when I am weak then He is strong and His strength carries me through this. Perhaps this "thorn in my side" was given to me so that I would become exactly who God wants me to be; perhaps these are His Hands molding me - transforming me from a formless mass into something beautiful that will live to worship and glorify Him. And I have a hope ... one thing that keeps me going through the hard times ... that His Word will prevail, and that when I die, I will no longer have to face this pain, but I will be transformed and given a new body, and there will be no more suffering and no more pain and no more sadness. Until then? Well, until then I will try to do His will and walk His road and shine His light and be His vessel.
I am a currently off work with depression ..6 weeks now. I was off work 6 months last year returning in Jan. I have been a school bus driver for 10 years , now I am nearly 50 years old. I am single never married but have been searching for my soulmate last few years. I have had about 3 previos long bouts of depression/anxiety with time off work since driving buses. However I have suffered from this horrible affliction since I was a teenager.
Since being off work I have mostly stayed in bed. All i want to do is just sleep...I toss and turn night and day just wanting oblivion . I go without food and drink for as long as I can stand it . I shower when the stench gets too much even for me. I loath myself , I cry out to God to take me home to Heaven ... I pray that is where I am destined...but i fear it will be hell. But how I ask myself can hell up there be worse than the hell Im in now.? My thought life is constantly obsessed with my childhood and family relationships esp. parents.
I know what I should be doing at times like this...go out get exercise , eat well , visit friends , do something positive. I know all this yet I cant/wont do it. At this moment I am up typing this and feeling fairly ok and sane...but it wont last ..though I hope I will come out of it.
I too generally feel better at night cos like the previous writer said ''most people are at home and there is no pressure to achieve anything. But come the early hours and the daymare begins again.
I was brought up in a very stressful home .. dad was an alcoholic, angerholic, agrophobic,work driven man ..extremely stressed out alot of times . He too used to spend days in bed . Mum had to cope with his depessions aswell as the family business . He was a good man really , lots of compassion and highly intelligent. He was just not well in himself and had to be in control of everything especially us his family. It was not until after he died aged 62 of a heartattack when I was 28 and a recovering alcolic myself that I realised I was in fear of him. I knew during our disfunctional relationship that I was extremely angry with him and I shut down emotionally . I used to sit and stare for hours out the window wondering what the hell was life about? This went on for years with me . I suffered very low self esteem , and I was an underachiever . My teenage years was when I think the deep negativity set in .There was so much pain and hurt in my life in me and around me that I sort comfort through the usual channels of boose , sex , cigs , day dreaming of when I will be happy.
I have had different therapy over the years . Now I am on escitalpram anti-depressants which when I take them do help with combatting the constant obsessional thoughts . However though they help on some levels cos at this moment I am really down on myself and want 'out'its a battle to take them sometimes. Its not all been bad though. I have had many happy times in life ...even some fairly recently. Or so I thought .
Anyway ... I do know I am blessed in so many ways ... and remind myself that others too are suffering with this debilitating dis-ease called depression. We are not alone.
Thanks for the article and all those who wrote personal comments.
There is a name for this aspect of depression. It is called diurnal. This is when you feel better as the day progresses, and by nightfall, you wonder why you ever felt bad. I too suffer from this aspect of depression, and there is nothing much worse than to open your eyes (if you are lucky enough to sleep) and try to struggle with showers, driving, work, etc. at the same time you are struggling with nausea, anxiety, sadness and tears. It all becomes too much!!!
I'm very glad to found this page. My wife suffers from depression which are strong during the morning and ease over the course of the day and in the evening she's like another person. This comes in phases esp. combined with stress. Sometimes she becomes aggressiv towards me (words, shouting, slapping). In her deep down times, she thinks I don't support her good enough, don't understand her, etc. She seems short tempered, but in other times, when she's doing ok, she caring, lovingly, witty and interested. During her bad times it's really hard to get her interested, she thinks she can't handle anything and than get angry about that, that she couldn't accomplish her goals for the day. It helps me, that I'm not the only one going through this with a loved one.
i have just found this site and have been reading these comments and feel so sad...i have a 13 yr son who has had problems since 5 he gets really depressed and very aggressive i cry every day for him and myself when he punch and kicks and smashes things in our home last year he had a good few months when things were so good but its started again pills in the past seem to make him worse risperdone did help but he put 14 pounds on in a month and made him wet himself he hasn't been on pills for a year now but its so bad again I've got to do something do any of you know of any pills for depression that also stops the aggression...they say he might have Asperger syndrome but I'm not sure any comments would be helpful....
susan
A very close friend who has been taking Paxil and then Celexa for depression (and states that ithasnot worked) has recently been put on Lamictal. She says the depression is gone and she feels great. However, I have noticed that she is much more assertive/aggressive than she used to be. I am not sure if this is a reaction to the med or if this is her undepressed personality but it is disconcerting. I am wondering if anyone else has had a similiar situation? Also, can feelings of aggression be masking depression - especially if depression was formerly dealt with in a very passive way? Thank you.
I can understand the misconceptions people have about people who are depressed or bipolar and in a mixed state. I didn't sleep more then 2-4 hours for six weeks and was still going to work and my partner at that time, told me there was never a reason to be short tempered in the morning. While I don't think having depression gives me a green light to mow people down and to be abusive, I think that as a person with recurrent mixed depression, I need someone who doesn't interpret my behaviors in the worst light and use this as an indicator of my person. I liken this to assessing someone who is in the middle of the worst flu they have ever had, and then stating they don't know how to have fun. It is difficult to interpret responses but the more I can understand depression, the more I can help others around me make sense of it. But, there are always those that simply want to say stop doing that and after a while this is a recipe for reflection and decisions. While everyone can't handle being around someone who gets depressed, it is up to me to choose who to let come into my world.
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yes flung headlong into the churning black pit of this hellish nightmare we call life.... living to die another day.... just a day away.... hanging on by a blood soaked thread... wondering why... not caring... no place to go... nothing to believe in... just being shoved from one wretched hole to another... never knowing when the urge to snuff oneself will win out... adrift in this sorrowful bloody world... listening to Dresden Dolls and revelling in the comfort it briefly brings... my brain aches as arteries bleed within the walls of my skull... a joyless existence balancing on a rusty razor's edge as it gouges just beneath the skin.......
-- comments of a depressed lunatic, father of 2, husband, son, brother, cousin, grandson.... but it's all meaningless right now...............